Gov. Jesse Ventura's Top Ten New Year's Resolutions
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10. |
Require all Minnesota postal employees to wear a hot pink boa as
part of the standard uniform |
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9. |
Give all Minnesota Senators cool nicknames like Paul "The Piranha"
Wellstone
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8. |
New state mandate requires all children to view "Predator" and
"Running Man" before they're admitted into Minnesota public schools
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7. |
Abolish state Attorney General. All legal disputes will be settled
in the "Squared Circle" |
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6. |
Change the state flower from the "pink and white lady's slipper" to
the "black and gold wrestler's boot" |
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5. |
Televise his State of the State address on Pay-Per-View
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4. |
Appoint Bobby "The Brain" Heenan as Lt. Governor |
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3. |
Institute the "Body Slam" clause into his Deadbeat Dads policy
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2. |
Play his theme music whenever he attends any social event
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1. |
Change the state motto to "Let's get ready to govern!"
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