The biggest joke of them all -- other than Rosie -- was once again the Metal category (see previous paragraph for background). Black Sabbath won this Grammy for "Iron Man" off their live Reunion album. "Iron Man" was originally recorded by them in 1971, appearing on their Paranoid record. This was their first Grammy. Ever. Oddly the Grammys didn't feel the need to recognize the exact same song 29 years ago.

The committee has begun playing favorites in other categories as well. Both Shania Twain and the Dixie Chicks (harmless, pleasant performers) are destined for long careers filled with Grammy gold. Both artists took home two awards for the second year in a row -- in the exact same categories as last year. The Dixie Chicks may have spunk, but the lip-synched joke that they performed "live" wouldn't have won on MTV's "Say What Karaoke."

You may have noticed a few notable names missing from the winners circle, namely Britney Spears, Ricky Martin and the Backstreet Boys. They were probably equally as surprised. Martin lost out to Sting (normally a great performer, but disappointing on his winning Brand New World album) not once but twice in the Pop Vocals categories. In fact, the whole Latin contingent (Lou Bega, Martin, Marc Anthony) were swept by the former Police frontman. Spears (not to mention Macy Gray and Susan Tedeschi) lost to valley girl wannabe Christina Aguilera, who only has one song released, for Best New Artist. Aguilera played her airhead schtick perfectly as she accepted her trophy, tossing off brilliant sound bites like "Oh my God you guys" three times.

Note to Rosie: no one needed to see you attempting to dance like Spears following her (blatantly lip-synced) performance (the microphone goes in front of your mouth, not your eyes). And while we're at it, there's no need for you to attempt to sing like Whitney Houston either, if you could sing and were a decent performer you would be a nominee, not the host.

As far as the live aspect of the show went it can be summed up simply: Jennifer Lopez (right) and lip-synching. Everyone, I'm sure, has seen or at least heard about Jennifer Lopez' might-as-well-be-nude outfit. As the first presenter (with David Duchovny), she brought down the house with her trampy table cloth-like dress that covered just enough to remain legal. With his girlfriend dressing like that in public, maybe there's a reason why Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs carries around a gun as a fashion accessory.

Lip-synching was the point of order for most of the 16 "live" performances with Spears and the Dixie Chicks being the most obvious. Why even feature and advertise these performances if the artists aren't actually going to be doing anything other than smiling prettily into the camera and wiggling through choreographed dance moves? At least Santana's performance of "Smooth" was performed live, and the musicians actually looked like they were enjoying themselves, which was reflected in the music. Other notable non-lip-synched performances included the aforementioned Kid Rock, the Backstreet Boys with their a cappella tribute to past winners and a jazz quintet of very talented kids, who showed more skills than most of the nominees.

Well, at least the Grammy Awards are over for another 12 months. Music can return to its natural state and the committee can start their list of old overlooked artists for 2001. I'll be looking to the MTV music awards, which does a much better job of awarding the most deserving artists year after year. Geez, they even realize that music is taking a giant step towards change (a rock/rap hybrid) and award bands like Limp Bizkit and Korn. And they call themselves a music awards show.